This song begun some years ago when a cousin of mine decided it was time to bring her journey through this world to an end. At the time, I could only get a few lines here and there. Then after my uncle was murdered in Kenya in 2009, I found myself singing it again, but still not feeling like I could find the right words.
Somehow the chorus was about consoling those who were left behind by making some sort of statement about where people go when they die – the problem being that I don’t know where people go, if anywhere, when they die. In some ways, it would have been easy to say they had gonehome, home to God, but that just didn’t seem right for me to say when I didn’t know it to be true.
Then, one evening, I felt drawn to revisit the song, and as before, I made very little progress, but was particularly upset and tearful while working on it.
The next morning I awoke to a deep sense of the oneness and the presence of all things. A sense that my uncle and everyone else was present here with me at this moment in time. I felt that the separation between the world of the living and those who had gone before was some kind of illusion, there wasn’t really any separation.
The world of form now seemed very insubstantial, there wasn’t anything to resist or regret or anyone to mourn for, my uncle hadn’t gone anywhere, and yet he was in a more peaceful place. In that space, I would have said my uncle was right there, he actually hadn’t gone anywhere.
So, even though the lyrics don’t quite reflect it, that experience gave me what I needed to write the chorus. Something that was consoling and uplifting, and which I knew to be true.
While making the video was a struggle for lots of reasons, I feel like the images of standing stones, sea arches, waterfalls, windswept trees, and the lovely flute playing of Fiona Walsh, somehow manages to evoke that experience of immanence and connection in a way words cannot – I hope you agree!
Music available to download here http://catherinecunningham.bandcamp.com/track/anyway-the-sun